The same thing goes for “Walk with Jesus & you’ll be healed”. Again,
the implication is that there’s something substantial lacking within me
spiritually. I’m fully ordained in two different disciplines & have a PhD
in Divinity - God & I are pals; yet, surprisingly, I have never been
bestowed the power of life over death. Are they saying that only sinners die of
cancer?
“Everything happens for a reason?” No, it doesn’t. THAT statement tells me
that I DESERVE cancer! I’m not buying it! I could go on: “Just try & stay
positive - you can beat this!”... I’m 63 years old, I’m not a child. People die
from this. I was predicted to die back in September, nine months ago! I’ve
already beaten the odds!
“God doesn’t give you more than you can handle? I just spent over two
months bedridden & writhing in pain, followed by a diagnosis of Sepsis. This
will NOT be the last time. I find it difficult to believe that a benevolent God
willingly struck me down with this misery.
“You can beat this! Miracles happen!” No, I can’t, & I won’t. Here’s
another one: “I had the same type of cancer, let me tell you all about it.”
Hmmm... you’re alive, & I’m dying - I think you MIGHT have had one of
other, of thousands, forms or subsets of cancer. My primary cancer cells have
diminished - my tertiary cancer cells are in the deadly area. Okay, one more:
“How much weight have you lost? You look GREAT!” Yeah, throwing your guts up
for two months will DO that for you!
Some of my friends have not been able to accept those realities. It’s SO
much easier to live in denial, but it’s way past time to face the music! Those
of you who don’t have cancer can comfortably live in denial. In no way would
& wish this illess upon anyone, but by throwing out these platitudes, you
inadvertently make me feel guilty for failing you. I wasn’t strong enough,
spiritual enough, positive enough. Apparently, I wasn’t worthy, so I must die. Really? I don’t buy it!
- Gayle -
