The Official Follow Up From Hospital

    I know everyone’s been waiting, so I’ll try to be as concise as possible. Although it would be nice if I could just jump to the punchline, more was discussed than simply the physical manifestations of my cancer. Therefore, I’ll take you through a similar path to the one that we encountered during the meeting with the head doctors of the hospital.

     First off, they said that there are two different ways to access a patient, subjectively & objectively. Subjectively, I’m thriving - happy, healthy, & strong, with no outward signs of any disease. Objectively... that tells a different story. The truth is that I have a very aggressive form of cancer & it's taking everything we can throw it to to keep it at bay. Remember, there will be no "remission" in my case; our goal is simply to limit the tumor growth & to curtail further metastasis. Here it is - the bottom line: although the main tumor on my right lung has actually subsided a bit & the lymph nodes are less enlarged, the primary tumor on my liver has slightly increased in size.

     Okay, I'll be honest; we knew this already. As soon as the narrative comparison of my current PET Scan was released, we read it, of course. Having been done at the same facility as the previous Scan, they were able to do a side-by-side comparison. Now, we didn't get out rulers & compare 1.9 x 1.0 cm to the previous 1.9 x 1.1 cm (the lung tumor), or see just what the liver lesions looked like at 2.5 x 2.6 cm, but suffice it to say that there was diminishing of one area, less inflammation on the lymph nodes, but growth on the other main tumor. In all of this, it's important to note that the lung & lymph node tumors have decreased in size & that there was NO metastasis to any other organs, no spreading to bones, or to my brain. All in all, my left-brain considers this all VERY good news & worth celebrating. However, even having known all of these facts going into the meeting with the doctors, to see it displayed on the large wall for analysis & comparison hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw the liver tumor growth! I was looking at my own death, staring me down from that wall... a bright yellow, glowing, death sentence. My reaction surprised me. But I'm getting better & am centering myself.

     Yes, any growth is discouraging. On the other hand, it's SO encouraging to see the lung tumor & lymph nodes decrease (which is wonderful news!) &, of course, the HUGE relief of having NO spreading to other organs, surfaces, or locations (again - my cancer is blood borne, so it has the capacity to relocate & settle ANYWHERE). But the growth in the liver tumor remains problematic. Therefore, I'll be increasing my dosages of oral chemo once I return home, & will return here to Oasis of Hope for subsequent evaluation in late February. That visit will be solely for the vaccine injections. Both of these modalities will work to target the growth of that pesky liver tumor, creating an army against it's further advancement. So, we're still on the front lines - fighting. Two out of three inflamed areas actually experienced diminished parameters - which is an enormous success! But as long as the cessation of tumor growth is less than complete, we still have work to do. Growth of that one liver tumor can kill me, & death by liver cancer isn't nice. We can't lay down our armor. This tumor is just much more stubborn & demands more attention. I'm tired, we're BOTH tired, but we're still IN the fight.

     Okay, we're suiting up. We're ready...        

- Gayle -